Expectations

Every Christmas I tell myself I won't have any expectations. That goes for all year around, but for some reason Christmastime is more of an issue. I no longer live up North (New Jersey) so I rarely see my family anymore. By "my family" I am referring to my two sons. Due to many circumstances (formost that I was escaping because I was laid off from my job after my office was destroyed in the WTC attacks) I made the decision to move to Augusta, GA, of all places. This was a purely financial decision because I knew I'd be able to survive and buy a house, all cash here. But, I've paid the price--my children have forgotten that I exist practically. Now at this point I have stopped expecting actual presents; times ARE tough so that's out, but come on guys, you can't even spare a card. When Wednesday, Dec. 24th came and I STILL did not receive any cards I pretty much said, "Well that's it." I have to say I expected it but when the lack of at least a little something from my kids became apparent I was very, very, hurt. My older son has at times gotten angry with me and literally stopped talking to me for long periods, so I was not about to call him up and tell him how disappointed I was with his actions. Forget it, that would be suicide on my part. At least I currently have a "relationship" with him which may change at any moment. I don't want to rock the boat so I will accept the fact that I am just a blip on the radar screen, if even that much. Sometimes it is better to just shut your mouth. I apply expectations to everyone because I think everybody should be like me. I have an online fitness business called Beachbody. I signed up 3 coaches and none have done anything since it is the holidays. So I play the waiting game until their heads get cleared up from the frenzied pace of Christmas. I spoke with one lady today and she was giving me a hard time about things we have to buy until we get enough customers. Every day I remind myself to stop thinking about doing any business at all and to just enjoy the holiday season, but that hardly ever works. I refuse to call them up and say, "Hey, you forgot my card." So, moral of the story, just don't expect anything except for yourself; you can't control other people. That's it for my first blog--jut venting. Adios. See you soon.